No matter how family-friendly a workplace claims to be, explaining family matters to colleagues can cause resentment. Picking up your child from daycare, moving a parent into a care facility, or attending a surgery consultation with a dear friend are time sensitive, must-do things - especially when someone you love is depending on you. What you should say: “Excuse me, I have another commitment.” One of the clinic administrators asks if she can stay a few more minutes until they are done. Heather dreads saying she has to leave to relieve the nanny, because she knows her colleagues may judge her as having a poor work ethic. If Heather leaves by 5 PM she arrives home in time to allow the nanny to get to her own children’s after-school program on time. Wednesdays at 4 PM she attends a one-hour clinic administration meeting. Heather is a physician at a large urban hospital. Situation #2: You’re asked to stay late when you’re about to leave the office for a personal obligation. I’ll review those quickly and we can delve into more detail in the next meeting.” The group refocused their attention on Katie, and moved along to viewing her as the point person for the conversation. There are a couple other topics worth considering in tandem with this. provides an opportunity for greater ownership, if delivered in front of others, by offering detail or clarification for impact.gives you the upper hand when addressing the matter with a manager.allows you to reclaim your idea without aspersion.prevents you from being trivialized by serving notice about the misappropriation of your contribution.What you should say: “Thanks for spotlighting my point.” Minutes or days later, a colleague or manager misrepresents your point as their own, restates it identically, and is praised and credited for making it. It goes unacknowledged or is tersely rejected. It’s not a matter of if this situation happens, but when: You competently make a point. The rest of the C-suite supports him in “his” idea. Then Dave, the head of IT, restates her idea in his own words. In a contentious moment, she recommends that the C-suite move toward a new talent strategy. Katie is the COO of a hospitality company. Situation #1: Someone takes credit for your idea. Route your response with them, and redirect the situation to regain control. But there are certain phrases you can keep in your back pocket when these moments come. Consequently, you find yourself unable to respond to a mental, psychological, or emotional challenge, and you fail to execute in the critical moment. Sian Beilock, president of Barnard College and author of Choke, found that this analysis paralysis occurs when your brain suddenly becomes overtaxed by worry or pressure. You know the moment: a mood-veering, thought-steering, pressure-packed interaction with a colleague, boss, or client where the right thing to say is stuck in a verbal traffic jam between your brain and your mouth.
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